Nowadays, a murderer is someone who is innocent until proven insane!
Conceit is God's gift to little men.
In most instances, all an arguement proves is that two people are present.
When you get kicked from the rear, it means you were in front.
The thunder god went for a ride on his favorite filly.
'I'm Thor!' he shouted.
The horse replied: 'You forgot your thaddle, thilly!'
Jill: Are you an only child?
Bill: No, I used to be twins.
Jill: When were you twins?
Bill: My father has a picture of me when I was two.
A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog was
playing extremely well.
'That is a very smart dog,' commented the man.
'He's not so smart,' said one of the players. 'Every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail!'
Q: What is the difference between a doctor and a preacher?
A: One practices and the other preaches
|The Toilet that Came to Life
a work of strange fiction
One day, for no particular reason, Richard decided to drop some money into the toilet. After he flushed it, he
heard the toilet say 'Thank you!'
Richard jumped back in surprise as the toilet lid suddenly became a periscopic eyeball that blinked
at him wonderingly. This is no ordinary toilet, thought Richard. He jumped in surprise again
as the toilet suddenly sprouted legs! The seat became a large mouth that opened menacingly.
Richard was so surprised that he forgot to be scared.
'My name is Jonny," said the toilet. 'I come from the planet Pooey!'
'That's a funny name for a planet!' said Richard. Richard laughed behind his hands. 'Where is my
money?' he asked.
'I swallowed it, of course,' said the toilet matter-of-factly. 'It brought me to life.'
'Really?' said Richard. 'It must be magical!'
'On Pooey everyone eats money all the time,' explained Jonny. It keeps us working properly."
'What happens to you if you don't get enough to eat?' asked Richard curiously.
'We turn back into regular toilets,' explained the toilet carefully. 'Of course, our favorite
food is LITTLE BOYS!'
With that, the wicked creature leaped to attack Richard. The boy screamed very loudly and raced
into the living room. 'Help, help!' cried Richard. He ran around and around the room with Jonny
chasing close behind him. Finally the creature became exhausted and turned back into an
ordinary toilet. Richard collapsed.
When mom came home, she was surprised to see a toilet in the middle of the living room.
'What happened?' she asked
'Well..." began Richard...