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The Ormston Extra!
Volume 1, Number 14

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    There has been a lot of things happening here this past week. Penny has been having problems with a bad cold and insomnia for nearly three weeks now. Amber has a cold now too, and has been crying a lot.

    On monday the 7th of November there was an accident near here with a truck full of Sodium Cyanide. Everyone in the area had to evacuate their homes for about five hours.

    Richard was really scared and wouldn't stop crying and saying he didn't want to die. It was almost dinner time when we had to evacuate, so we took our dinner in a big bowl with us and headed down to the shelter area (by Juliet and Richard's school). We didn't know how long the evacuation would last, so we took a sleeping bag to wrap up in and called someone who might be able to pick us up if it ended up we would have to be gone all night.

    It was kind of scary. There were firemen, policemen, and security people wearing masks going from door to door and telling people to leave RIGHT NOW!!

    There were lots of police cars and ambulance with sirens going and their lights flashing everywhere you looked. People were yelling through loud speakers, urging everyone to evacuate quickly and quietly, and there were dozens of helicoptors flying in circles over our heads.

    Richard was given a bag of diapers, pajamas, and eating utinsils to carry. Juliet carried the sleeping bag. Penny carried the hot food. Mark held Amber's hand. Somewhere along the way Richard dropped the bag he was carrying. At least he quit being quite so scared.

    It was very cold that night, and it was already dark when we evacuated. After an hour or so, the friend who I had called showed up.

    She took us to her house and we were finally able to eat our dinner. When the crisis was over, she took us home. Everyone was glad to see that the cat was alive and well. No one wanted to go to bed, even though it was late and there was school the next day.

    The next day was election day. It was also a day when I realized that I was very sick and that my cold had become something much worse. A trip to the Doctor confirmed that my lungs were infected, and I came home with a lot of medication and an excuse to be lazy for the next week to 10 days. I guess the cold night air had taken its toll on my system.

    Now everything around here is sort of put on hold. Next week things should start to get back to normal.

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I would like to say a few idiotic words about the most important invention of the twentieth century

I am not referring to a big screen color television or even to hte discovery of chili dogs.

The most happy go lucky invention, in my opinion, is the sneaker.

If it were not for sneakers, our butts would be dirty, cold and rainbow colored.

Sneakers keep me from skidding if the girls are slippery, and when I run they keep me from stubbing my ears.

There are several special sneakers designed for jumping and others that you can only wear if you want to burp.

My mother says they smell like old streets, but she is wrong.

I have had my sneakers for 21 years and I wouldn't trade them for all the cream soda in China!

Today, every student has a computer small enough to fit into his house. He can solve any math problem by simply pushing the computers little toes. Computers can add, multiply, divide, and kick. They can also punch better than any human.

Some computers are feet. Others have an ugly screen that shows all kinds of water and green figures. Each one contains over 10 tiny pink polka dot semi-people.

These are actually electronic circuits printed on gold chips. All of which are operated by little three-volt horses.

Computers can play such games as pong and Aztec.

They can further test your talking ability and remember when you have to go to the bathroom.

It is just like owning your very own personal tree!


Rome is called the funny city.

It was the first capital of the bottom of the aquarium.

The romans were horseshoe shaped engineers.

They invented cement and made aqueducts to carry hot cocoa from the Alps to the Bathroom at Disneyland.

They had many sticky emperors.

The emperor Claudius Ormston built the coliseum where he would throw christinas to the clouded leopards, and where gladiators would eat to the death.

Emperor Nero played the tuba while Rome burned, and Emperor Marc Summers conquered the little Green Man's house.

Today, Rome is as upside-down as ever. Every year, thousands of American Dragon Butts go there to see the igloo and burp on the Via Veneto and eat fudge ripple ice cream.

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